Self-care is Important

a Voice for autistic individuals...

Self-care is Important

Self-care make it a priority!

You are important

Take a moment, close your eyes and I want you to think about the craziest roller-coaster ride you have been on. Well sorry to burst your bubble but there is a roller-coaster called parenting, by far the scariest, craziest, exhilarating ride you can ever experience. 

But we all know how much fun one can have riding on a “roller-coaster”.

Best is watching them grow up; developing their own personality and making you smile from ear to ear day after day.

I am going to be blunt here, but nothing can prepare you for how challenging it can be raising a little person, especially when you have a child with special needs.

The hard part is not dealing with the “struggles”. The hard part is not knowing enough about the diagnosis to adequately assist your child during the times when they need you the most. Another struggle is when outsiders stare or comment when they know nothing your child is facing during an episode may it be epileptic or an autism meltdown.

Today I am not going to talk too much about our Au-Some Kids, I am here to talk to all the parents about self-care.

Stop neglecting your health and take care of yourself.

That is my message to you, but it is also a note to self! I have learnt a valuable lesson in the last 2 weeks. Listen to your body, go see a doctor if you need to. Go for the well deserves massage, take time and be selfish for your own health.

I have been in constant pain. Exhaustion has taken over my life – for too long I was trying to ignore both.

When you have kids, it is our instinct as moms to focus on the child’s needs and more importantly their health.

Kids constantly crave our attention and when they do get sick its our number 1 priority to nurse them back to health.

We are adults: in our mind we don’t have a choice but keep up business as normal, run a household, be handyman when needed, but we forget about ourselves.

We end up putting on our “big girl panties” fake a smile and move along to make sure you attend to everything that is required.

Have you ever wondered why you do not make time for yourself?

Why not take better care of your own health…………………….?

The actual reason moms don’t take care of themselves is not lack of time, or lack of money, and it’s definitely not lack of knowledge. 

This is how I see it:

You fall pregnant and during that time you make sure you are well cared for. 

You give birth to your precious bundle of joy, you leave the hospital with your baby, go back to the compulsory postpartum check-ups, you leave there knowing it’s the last one you need to attend but then all wheels fall off the bus.

You end up going back to neglecting your health and everyone else is put ahead of yourself.

You end up caring for the wellbeing of those around you which is never a bad thing but how well can you care for others when you do not care for yourself?

Looking at routine, everyone gets a bath, hunger sets in, you cook for your loved ones, make sure they are fed, everyone gets the recommended hours of sleep, and everyone goes to the bathroom when they have to go……….except for you! Why are we not being more strict with ourselves?

Let me not mention check-ups, prescriptions, and mental health care when it comes to ourselves.

We seem to think we can overcome anything if we carry on pushing and being there for everyone else, we hope it just goes away on its own.  

Due to the lack of sleep, we are irritable, we battle to focus, it reduces your sex drive, and overall, we are exhausted.

Thus, resulting in being vulnerable to so many illnesses because we don’t get enough rest, we put too much on our plate, and we take on all the emotional stresses of adulting, others around you that need help but more so being a parent. 

We need to stop putting ourselves last on the list!

The reason I wanted to post about self-care is because I have neglected myself for too long.

I have been battling with constant back and neck pain.

Self diagnosed as stress/tension due to work, everyday rush and being a stubborn woman, I suffer through it.

I would take muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatories, hoping it will go away. For a short period of time it helped but the minute the medication wore off I was in pain again.

The pain got so bad that I was unable to function.

Thanks to a close friend (yes you know who you are) if it wasn’t for her being so concerned and pushing me to get it seen to I would have just left it even longer.

Long story short the person I went to see made me do a few simple tests in his office. He suggested I go see a specialist,  when I say specialist, I mean neurologist.

Like wth…………neurologist means serious business!

Off I go to the neurologist, did a series of checks in his rooms and shockingly I was sent straight to admissions, and ended up spending a few nights over in a covid secure room in the hospital.

Had several MRI’s done, blood taken for multiple tests, collapsed in hospital and honestly cannot remember must of what happened.

Outcome of all of this is me being admitted tomorrow the 16th of November 2020 for major surgery on my spine.

I will add I am currently 37 years old, I turn 38 in 7 days’ time, what a way to “celebrate” a birthday.

I feel I am too young to be having these issues, but I only have myself to blame.

I did not listen to my own body screaming at me, I did not take care of myself like I take care of everyone else.

 

This is a huge wakeup call!

I was never the priority!

My health has been suffering, I have not been able to function like I normally do and because of this, I have to be selfish and I need to prioritize my health and take care of myself.

Let the pain you are in be your teacher.

My message to you is that you are valuable, you are important, and you are worthy. Take the time and make yourself a priority. If you are not 100% healthy you are affecting everyone else around, you.

Self-care doesn’t mean take 30min to yourself and boom you are done, so many areas of self-care needs work

Physical, Psychological, Emotional, Spiritual, Relationships

Do yourself a favor and read up on self-care. Do not feel afraid to reach out to someone if you need help. You are not alone.

Be kind to yourself, love yourself and make you a priority.

Much love to everyonel……………..from the broken mom!

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